On my third deployment to Afghanistan, when I was in command of an infantry company, my boss, the battalion commander, was very concerned about the possible use of steroids by our Soldiers. He was so concerned that he mandated the battalion physician's assistant to go around to each of the companies and give a presentation on the dangers of steroid usage. This was, I suppose, well-meaning, but I knew a presentation like this would be either ineffective or counter productive.
But orders were orders, so I scheduled a time for the PA to talk to the whole company.
A few weeks later, she stood in front of my company and talked for about an hour. She had a very high-quality power point with scary statistics, gruesome pictures and horrendous stories of shrunken testicles and broken families. By conventional measures of performance, it was an excellent brief, even if she was convincing no one. I thanked her for her time and told her that we really appreciated her taking the time to give such a detailed presentation.
As soon as she and I were safely out of ear shot, another presenter stood up and asked everyone to give him a minute of their time, because he wanted to present the truth about steroids.
A few days before the PA gave her very informative briefing, I went to my Fire Support Officer, 1LT Mithcell, and asked him about steroids. He was one of the most physically fit officers I had ever met, and he had competed separately as a powerlifter, bodybuilder, crossfitter, and triathlete. He also had certifications in physical training and a degree in kinesiology. Fitness was his passion, and he really knew his stuff when it came to human performance, and I suspected he might know a thing or two about steroids.
I asked him to give a follow up presentation on the truth about steroids and human performance, with no slides, as the PA was safely out of earshot.
We wanted to give his words the mystique of secret knowledge, so we agreed that it would be best to make look as though he wanted to deliver his message surreptitiously.
After walking the PA to the front door and thanking her once again, I rushed back and stood outside of the room to listen to 1LT Mitchell.
He was already halfway through his presentation.
"You all know me. You know that I'm the fittest person here and I know my stuff when it comes to human performance. I've done steroids and I actually know how to do them right. Steroids aren't as dangerous as she made them out to be, and when you think about whether or not to use steroids, I really doubt you knuckle-draggers care about safety anyway.”
“What you probably care about is getting ripped. Obviously, steroids work. That’s why professionals use them. But the truth is that most of you don't need to be on gear and if you try to do it on your own, you're probably just going to get the side effects of the steroids without them actually helping you. Steroids are most effective for professionals who have already maxed out their natural potential and are looking for an extra boost.”
“So, here’s the deal, if you want to get shredded you have to get the basics right before you get on gear. What you need is a proper workout plan, 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and you need to eat right. That means no eating bullshit or drinking soda, and sticking to your meat, vegetables, fruit, and bread. If you want to get big, or if you want to get fast, or if you just want to look like a killer, I can help you. And, frankly, steroids could become part of that conversation.”
“If you work with me and we get your exercise, sleep, and nutrition correct, and if we max out your gains, then I will help you buy and use gear in a way that is going to maximize your potential.”
During the deployment, 1LT Mithcell helped a lot of Soldiers reach their fitness goals. Some soldiers gained 20 or 30 pounds of pure muscle, without using steroids.
In fact, that company was the only one in the battalion that did not run into an issue with Soldiers using steroids.
Imagine standing in a warzone and saying, "steroids are dangerous!"
The soldiers don't care. Going on patrol is dangerous. Hell, with as many rockets as we were taking, walking to the chow hall was dangerous!
"You send me to Afghanistan and then you preach to me about safety?!"
This should have been a very easy mindset for commanders and staff officers to understand. But many never thought about it that way.
But the battalion commander was right to be concerned about steroids. It was true that their use was rampant, and that people were (rarely) getting hurt from them. I didn’t want Soldiers to use them either. But I know Soldiers well enough to know that if you tell them they are not allowed to do something then many will do it the first time they get a chance without anyone looking. That’s probably just the nature of 19-year-old men, and not unique to Soldiers.
But if you tell them they can do something, as long as they do a few steps first, then, for some strange reason, they won’t go too far out of their way to try and do it. That was the approach that I took with steroids.
1LT Mitchell demystified steroids for them and made them seem accessible, which was all we had to do.
I followed a similar approach when it came to Inspector General complaints.
Before I took command, a lot of my friends who were currently in command or had recently left command told me that Inspector General (IG) complaints were an absolute pain in the ass. Soldiers would file an IG complaint every time they felt like they were mistreated. If a Soldier was late to formation and his squad leader made him do pushups and run laps and yelled at him, the Soldier would go to IG. If the commander wasn’t popular and made a slightly off-color comment or joke, a Soldier would inevitably report him to IG.
IG would then come in and conduct a bunch of interviews and poke around all the policy letters and just be a general interruption to daily business. Even if the allegations were unfounded, which they most often were, the very fact that IG had investigated was a black eye for the commander. Some Soldiers understood this dynamic and tried to wield the IG like a weapon.
My friends warned me to be wary of IG, because they would make my life miserable.
But I took a different approach.
When I first took command at Fort Carson, I had a representative from the Inspector General’s office come to my company to talk about what their office did and how they went about doing investigations, and how they could help commanders and Soldiers. He also presented some statistics about what kinds of investigations the IG office did, including the fact that a lot allegations turn out to be unfounded. The representative was a senior NCO with a lot of experience, and he was an excellent speaker. He ensured that Soldiers had all of the contact information for the IG’s office, then he turned the floor back over to me.
I thanked the NCO for giving us a great presentation and praised him for all the hard work he was doing to help improve the lives of Soldiers. Then I said,
“I don’t want anyone to be discouraged by the fact that a lot of investigations come back unfounded. A lot of disgruntled Soldiers will try and use IG as a weapon to try and punish their leadership and those allegations will turn out to unfounded. But if you are experiencing actual abuse by one of your leaders, or if you think that I am breaking Army regulations, you can go straight to IG. You don’t have to tell me, you can go straight to their office, or email them, and they will help you. My door is always open, and if you need my help fixing a problem I will do everything in my power to help you. But if you think it is too big for me, then go straight to IG.”
During my 16 months in command a lot of Soldiers came to me asking for help, and true to my word I worked on helping them fix their problem. Whether it was an overbearing NCO, or personal situation that they needed some special accommodation for, I did what I could to help.
I didn’t have a single IG complaint as a commander.
You might like some of my other stuff:
Excellent.
I was getting antsy when I saw IG, glad I finished.
Was your PA that unwilling to listen?
Experiences can vary, but of the PAs and DOCs I have served would had been open to working with that FSO and give a combined brief.