Respect
Find out what it means to me
Dear Readers,
I have been shocked at how fast the newsletter has grown. Thank you so much for sharing it and promoting it through your channels.
LinkedIn is a goldmine for nonsense that passes for wisdom.
One of the most common quote-graphics that comes across my feed every so often says, “I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.” The humorous retort being, “oh, so you're a condescending ass to everyone then?”
The origin of this quote, like many of its kind, is hard to nail down, but I have seen it attributed to Steve Jobs, Tom Hardy, Janelle Monae, and many others. It’s one of these feel-good ideas that is completely divorced from any context, as if all janitors were the same, and all CEOs, too.
The quote itself is a mix of insincere elitism and sophomoric naivete; treating “the janitor” as an abstraction rather than as a person actually known to the speaker, and the CEO as a distant hierarchical figure who is supposedly respectable by default. The words themselves betray their egalitarian message; they position the speaker as socially superior to the janitor. Only someone who thinks themselves better than the janitor would brag about how well they treat said janitor. It would be humorous if this quote were said by, say, the window washer. The quote reinforces our internalized idea of social hierarchy, even while purporting to challenge it.
In this essay, I’ll address this quote both in abstract terms and in concrete ones. But no matter how you slice it, you cannot possibly treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO. You can (and should) treat the janitor with the same courtesy or politeness as the CEO, but you can’t show the janitor the same respect.
Respect is a combination of love and fear.
When I walk in nature, I don’t show squirrels the same respect as bears. I have a healthy fear of bears, so I go out of my way to be aware of and respect their space. There is a reason that there are web pages that talk about what to do when you encounter a bear, and as far as I know, they don’t sell self-defense spray specifically designed to ward off squirrel attacks. I’m not pulling out a slingshot and messing with the squirrels, either. It’s just that they do their thing and I do mine. In nature, the squirrel and I are basically the same.
The same logic applies in the office. The respect you show to the CEO is the respect that you show to the person who can have you fired or have your office turned into the janitor’s broom closet. Just like a bear can tear you apart if you make a wrong move, so too can the big boss adversely affect your life. The janitor might not replace the bag in your trashcan but like the squirrel, there’s not much she can do to you.
You can’t show that kind of respect to the janitor, even if you want to. And if you tried to fake it you would come across as awkward and patronizing. The janitor is the janitor. He knows it, you know it, and he knows that you know it. And anyone who has met a janitor knows this.
Mike was the night janitor at the business school when I was getting my MBA. I kept a weird schedule where I arrived at the school to study around 430 am and worked until my classes started at 8 am. The school was locked until 7 am, but Mike would either let me in or keep a back door open for me. We would talk for about 30 minutes 4-5 days a week for a year (until COVID hit and I went remote). Mike was, for lack of a better word, kinda crazy — he told me that one of the Rothschilds visited the school one time and told him about some Illuminati conspiracy. He was also delusionally optimistic about the school’s football team, which he was convinced was going to win the national championship. But I genuinely enjoyed Mike’s company as a welcome distraction from doing homework at 5 am.
I treated Mike with the same respect that I treat people of equal rank who are respectable. We made jokes, asked about each other’s families, and discussed his survival and resistance preparations for the imminent UN-led New World Government — you know, normal small talk. We both had work to do, and we both benefitted from putting our work aside for a few minutes to enjoy each other’s company. I respected Mike’s time like he was a janitor taking a break, not like he was a CEO who worked 70 hours a week.
Hierarchy
“I was raised to treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO.”
The quote is all the more ridiculous coming from my perspective as an Army officer. The Army, as I have written about elsewhere, is hierarchical by nature (for good or for worse). Reformulating the quote for my field would be like saying “I treat lower-enlisted soldiers with the same respect as the commanding general.” And again, this is absurd.
Respect is demonstrated through action, not through internal beliefs. For example, saluting higher-ranking officers is a sign of respect. If I gave Sergeants the same respect as Generals, why not salute the Sergeants? Or why not decline to salute Generals? If you respect them the same, why not show it? You might say, “saluting is a requirement of rank, not a way people choose to show respect.” Yes, all the more reason that you can’t show Privates the same respect as Generals, it’s literally against the rules…
We have rules and customs of behavior that hard-code varying levels of respect into the military way of life.
In fact, one of the things that I like about the military is the openness of the rigid hierarchy. We’re not pretending over here in the Army. We walk around with visible insignias where we can all see each other’s place in the hierarchy. Some people are turned off by this, but I love it. I love it because it is honest. There is no pretending that we are all the same. We are not. Some people are more valuable than others.
In fact, do you know the Army’s protocol for removing protective gear after a gas or chemical attack? The lowest-ranking person unmasks first! This is not a joke. In fact, it is quite humourous when a group of Majors are given the “All Clear” and prepare to unmask during a training event—we quibble quite seriously, although light-heartedly, for about 30 seconds about whose date of rank is the most recent.
I hope the reader is not mistaken about my intentions—there is no irony here. This hierarchy is important. Decisions must be made, orders must be followed; leaders command, and subordinates obey.
This is why it is so crucial that leaders understand the gravity of their situation. Everyone underneath you in the hierarchy is depending on you to lead them. Take it seriously. Demand the respect that your rank carries and serve those who you lead. You serve them best by understanding your environment and the dynamics of large systems and large organizations and acting accordingly. Not by abusing your rank to issue a slew of orders.
This essay is best understood in the context of my essays Laziness Part 1, Network, and Stakeholder. Please go and read them if you haven’t already.
Have a great week!